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Month: November 2022

Taking Chances

I’m sure we’ve all heard of the phrase, and song, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s easy to focus on the awkward or difficult part of the situation rather than what it could be like when you come out of it. My point is to not be afraid to take the leap.

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

– Wayne Gretzky

I think about last year when I was considering buying my house. I was so afraid I was doing the wrong thing, that I was taking this step too early. But with a little pep talk from my mom (she knows when I get into my head too much) I realized how good it could be for me. I took the chance, and I am more responsible because of it; I am more independent.

I want to do something that I don’t do, or haven’t done very much. It is a surprise, but if I can do it, I hope it will be amazing. I already talked to three people about it, and I still need to talk to one more to get the ball rolling (or to see if I have the permission to do it).

What are some things you are thinking about doing? Are you scared of the risk?

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Letting Go

With a possibility of an important event happening a few weeks back, I had the opportunity and experience to contact someone from my past. I’ve been open in sharing my Christianity, and there was a lot of talk going on about the Rapture possibly happening on the weekend of September 25th. There was a video that my mom showed me “September to Remember” and this guy was sharing talking points in the Bible that are happening now.

For instance, there is a temple in Jerusalem that has to be rebuilt before the anti-Christ comes and claims to be the Christ. All of the materials are already there, the people are just waiting for the “unblemished” red heifer (which they need to sacrifice before they can begin). They are extremely rare, and unblemished means not a single mark on their bodies (so even more rare). So in September, five red calves were born, and transferred to Israel for the 10 day quarantine before they inspect each one to see if one was pure. (I’ve been trying to check up on this, but haven’t seen any results from the inspection).

So with this possibility, it got me thinking a lot about my relationships, feeling responsible to tell everybody I knew, especially if they didn’t have a relationship with Jesus. It got me thinking about my sister most of all, since I haven’t seen her more than twice since I was 17. I know she has strayed (since she used to be a Christian) and I wanted to tell her. But I also wanted to release the anger I had toward her, and had held on to for years.

My family adopted two biological siblings when my brother and I were about ten years old. These siblings were also about ten years old, and things seemed to go okay. Sure, there were problems, but then those got worse. One had to go away for more help than we could give, and in middle and high school, my sister acted out more and more. It got to the point of us calling the police, thievery, and her threatening us all. So she ended up emancipating herself when she was 17, and I haven’t really seen her since.

My mom still has contact with her, so we know where and how she is doing. When I was talking the whole possible Rapture thing with mom, the conversation got turned to Julie. And I started crying, because as much as I was angry for the pain and hurt she caused me and my family, I didn’t want her facing the wrath of God alone. So a night passes, I am home when my mom calls, asking if I had called my sister yet (since I realized it might be more powerful coming from me). I was so nervous, not wanting my anger to come out as soon as she picked up the phone, and I wasn’t even sure how to start. I asked mom to conference call, because I was also afraid to tell her the facts wrong.

We called her together, and as soon as I start talking, I start crying. I start off with apologizing for hold this grudge against her for so long. And I start to tell her the other reason for my call, mom filling in the gaps of what I miss. We finish, but while my sister listened to the story, she didn’t accept it. We talk for a few more minutes, but end the call. We did what we could, and now it is up to her. It felt great to let go of the anger, like getting a big boulder off my shoulders.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ephesisans 4:32
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